List July 24

1. My dog runs like a Spring Buck. He may have some identity issues.

This is Bruce aka Devil Dog with a fine set of antlers

2. Heads up to well-meaning people: if all it took to cure nasty prolonged pregnancy nausea was saltine crackers and flat coke don’t you think I would have stuck with it?

3. Don’t tell me I look good when I tell you I feel like crap. I don’t know if it’s a compliment or a back-handed way to tell me that I must not really feel as bad as I say. Either way, leave it off.

4. My child likes to “fake sleep in the backseat” so she’ll get a free ride into the AC. Smart kid. She’ll go far in the world of politics. Vote Simi in the 2050 election, she’ll blow you away with her foreign policy.

Simi Loo

5. My husband started a blog. It’s way less caustic than mine. You might like it. It will completely cement your belief in opposites attract. www.benthankful.wordpress.com

6. Pregnancy is a lot like puberty, allow me to explain:

Weird things happen super fast and you aren’t sure if you are happy about it. And, what’s worse, other people notice and stare. It makes me very self-conscious.

Same rule applies as puberty: LOOK ME IN THE EYE and don’t steal a glance, you creep. No, you can’t touch.

7. Dear Facebook Users,

You sound to good to be true. Everything goes so well in your world?! What am I doing wrong that I have bad days and you never do?

What’s up with that,

E

8. Dear Rosetta Stone Epanol (Spain),

Let’s run away together. I think we can make this work.

Quiero mi Espanol.

E

9. I feel a lot like Snow Bear (aka Beelzebub bunny) because I ate way toooo much chocolate cake for Eagle’s birthday. I fear I am getting the dreaded Snow Bear Triple, triple chins that is.

Snow Bear in her slimmer days

 10. My eldest turned 10 on Wednesday. How can that be? I whined about it to the poor lady behind me in the Target check out line. I strategically waited until all her items were on the conveyor belt and she couldn’t get away from me.

11. My eldest is fairly certain he is Davy Crockett reincarnated. This isn’t good for my psyche.

Eagle in 15 years

Send help.

Over and out.